You Are Not Alone
Couples carrying the cross of infertility are not alone and God has not abandoned them.
These couples are in our families, among our friends, and in our pews. Our parishes and communities are strengthened by the life-giving fruit of their witness and ministry. If you are one of these couples, we are here to walk with you, we are praying for you, and we are thankful for the witness of your love.
From our Bishops
“Struggling with infertility and miscarriage is a great burden for couples, especially when they so deeply desire to live out their vocation to welcome the gift of children from God. All may seem hopeless. In moments such as these, remember that despite infertility, couples ‘can have a married life that is filled with love and meaning.’ Throughout this struggle, the husband and wife can turn to the Lord God of all creation and ask that His will be done. This great act of faith, accompanied by striving to seek ways to live the fruitfulness of their conjugal union, including prayerful discernment about adoption or foster parenting, will fortify spouses and help them live their vocation in the love of the Holy Spirit.”
-U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops
Resources
- Springs in the Desert
- Lily of the Valley
- Seven Suggestions for Navigating Infertility
- Restorative Reproductive Medicine
- A Catholic Primer on IVF
Things to Know
A man and a woman become a family on the day they are united in marriage.
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- Infertility Fact: A man and a woman become a family on the day they are united in marriage. “Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 DRA). Moreover, the Catholic Church recognizes a family, with or without children, as the domestic church. Infertility is hard in so many ways, but it is not the end of marriage, a barren desert, or a place where joy and peace can never reign.
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- Infertility Awareness: Some people, even in the Church, believe that only couples with children form a family. This adds to the social isolation of many families without children. For example, a question like “When are you going to start a family?” is hurtful because it implies that the married couple struggling with infertility is not a “family” without children.
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- Action: Show by your words that you recognize your married friends without children as a family. Take the lead from them and what they may wish to share about their struggle with infertility, rather than asking questions about when they will “start a family.” Listen to them with sensitivity, and when describing your own family, avoid suggesting that you and your spouse “started a family” when you had children. God has given all Christians a mission to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), whether in our marriage, our work, how we serve the community, and so on. Acknowledge how your married friends without children fulfill their unique mission to fruitfulness.